Planting Along the Verge

Moving...

2011-11-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

I'm moving on...

I'd been thinking about it for a while and after Blogger unceremoniously

deleted the Dishwasher's blog, I decided it was time

to pack my trash and go.

Please come visit my new digs

here.

Beware the Wild Animals

2011-10-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

they roam amongst us....

A sad and scary story in the NYTimes today.

2011-10-06T08:37:00.001-07:00

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Steve Jobs

Untitled

2011-10-01T04:52:00.001-07:00

I'm leaving my mom's house today. my throat feels like it's in a vise.
I didn't do well. I didn't do all that I could have. I did poorly.

there goes the one my mom calls Charles atlas. he rides his mobility scooter shirtless
to walk his little dog several times a day.

there goes the monk, clearing his throat before starting his morning chants.

things get passed me even though I think I am so vigilant. I'm watching but not always paying attention.
or my attention is weak. it's the middle of the night in Ca. that's my excuse for this stupid rambling.

I'm going to see my madrina this morning before I leave, she's a loving caretaker of my soul but she says harsh things.
there may be tears.
there will be so many tears.

Untitled

2011-09-27T18:18:00.001-07:00

this is where we ate this evening after watching Contagion. a movie made especially for the monk, the king of disaster scenarios.

Romans Restaurant and Bakery. I don't recommend it for it's food but the ambiance was superb. we were the only people in there other than the waitress and the cook.

three signs I saw today...

a proud peacock is tomorrow's feather duster.

*****************************************************

miss universe pageant wasn't fair, only earth competed.

****************************************************

thank god for our father's our soldiers and our veterans.

****************************************************************

there was another one attributed to JFK I think.

something like...

forgive your enemies but remember their names.

now,
novellas but there's so much drama going on with my own familia that
these stories seem boring by comparison.

there have been storms.
beautiful and fierce.
y'all know how to have storms here.

thanks for all the well wishes.
ms moon and ms bones, we walk the same land and breathe the same
thick and soupy air.
I am reading you but can't comment.

ms bones I'm thinking you are going to have the best time in Atlanta.
I know you will.

at the Walmart the other day there was a nun standing in front of the plastic produce bags
so I lightly touched her shoulder and said excuse me sister. she turned and looked alarmed and
I apologized telling her I didn't mean to startle her and she said

"i thought you were having a vision
and I wanted to get in on it"

she was so funny and dear and she made me laugh and held my hand in hers and It made me
so happy. it made up for sister Mary Margaret making me kneel on salt in second grade for talking.

maybe that's why I am not a talkative person.

2011-09-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

It's get out of dodge time.

I can't find the source of this picture just now but it pretty

much sums it up for me at the moment.

Wish I had the boots.

No matter, I've got some lovely flip flops and long

skirts and white white white things to wear.

The gang is driving me to points north to catch a flight to Florida.

I'll be in touch if my electronic toys don't give out.

2011-09-16T14:08:00.000-07:00

Lately...

I've been spending one day a week with my Em.

We go eat, we hit the thrift store and run errands

one of which is getting her nails done. It's not

an errand for her but for me, well...

I sit there and take pictures...

we go have tea at Linnea's Garden Coffee House...

We talk, we laugh, we argue and roll our eyes at each other. We couldn't be

more different but we also couldn't love each other more.

After the last few years, to have arrived here where we are

today is a gift I am forever grateful for.

New Eyes...

2011-09-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I had a dream that we were moving into a new place and

I was beyond excited. I don't remember anything else about the dream

except that breathless fresh feeling.

We've lived in this house for a very long time and though I love this house, there

are many things I don't like about it and I would move on in a heart beat should the

opportunity and the perfect alternative present itself.

In other words, we ain't goin' nowhere.

For now.

So, I am challenging myself to see something in this house, everyday, in a new way.

That other challenge of not using the car in town, has worked out

pretty well so I have high hopes.

PS...
for Ms Moon

The Crone's Concoctions

2011-08-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am still mostly pretending I don't have a car and walking everywhere in town.

Lu isn't liking it much as the ranch is a drive away and when we set off for

a walk to the PO, the only one she can manage from the house, she pulls me towards

the truck and shoots laser beams of hate when I say "NO, it's town or nothing".

You've never seen such a put upon bulldog.

The wild fennel growing all over town is tall and about to give up it's seeds

which make a fine face wash if you have oily skin. I've been concocting creams of late.

My skin has taken a turn. An ugly turn.

I'm suddenly dealing with breakouts and bumps and having tried all

sorts of store bought washes and getting no results I've decided to take

matters into my own hands.

Yesterday I re-made a batch of milk and honey face cream for

both washing and moisturizing. This second attempt yielded a much

better consistency, the first separating and having a gummy feel was tossed

down the sink.

This new batch is not quite right either. The powdered milk didn't

dissolve completely so next time I'll try cooking it longer or mashing

it up first.

I feel like Crone at her cauldron.

An acne prone crone.

Dear Photoshop...

2011-08-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

Please stop being so mean!

Our computer is acting cranky and out of sorts. Photoshop is being particularly snippy and aloof, not

wanting to play with my pictures, suddenly not recognizing my photo program so that I've got

to devise sneaky ways of getting my photos in to play.

Nonetheless.

I played for a short while this morning when I could have been standing on my head

and/or twisting my spine.

There is still time.

2011-08-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

Lu was a bad girl yesterday...

Had a bath and then decided to take another one. Without water.

A dirt bath.

She likes those best of all.

So she got another bath and that one wasn't in the tub it was in the

yard with a hose.

Grrrr.

She's a movie star when we go for walks in town.

People stop and pet her and give her treats and tell

me about the bulldogs they know and love.

This morning we ran into a woman who stopped to chat and

she was one of those people who have never met a stranger.

She told me all about her dogs, showed me pictures and told me

all about her nephew Seth who had a girlfriend for 7 years but

how she left him when he lost his job and house on the beach and

how he's baby sitting the two goldens and her neighbor has the

two shih tzus and how she'll have to take care of his new girlfriend's

bulldog when they go on their cruise and.....

you get the picture.

Lu had to come home and take a nap...

but I didn't.

I loved this woman.

I loved everything about her.

Her colorful blouse and black

cropped pants, her knock you down on your ass Bronx accent, how she

wasn't the least bit afraid to be who she is and how refreshing that is.

We talked about how beautiful it is here and how she'd love to move here but can't afford to

but that maybe when her husband kicks it she can use the insurance for a small

cottage.

How free and wonderful is that?

A woman with a wicked sense of humor who isn't afraid to use it.

She made me happy.

Thank you lady in front of the antique store.

2011-08-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

As of today I am pretending I don't have a vehicle

in the driveway. I'm walking to the PO, grocery store,library and anywhere in town I need to go.

Please feel free to remind me every day as I am prone

1.laziness &

2. forgetfulness

This pledge/fantasy will only be in effect until the rains come.

We used to take long walks all the time but have taken

to the under 20 minute walk. Haiku walks. We would walk and

talk and solve all the world's problems. The change is mostly due

to Lu's inability to walk very far and our inability to

carry her home.

Well I'll just have to take her for a short one and then go on about my business.

Aromatherapy

2011-08-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

The old studio door.

I can hardly remember what that old studio looked like now.

It was a hot mess I remember that. It started out as a dirt floor falling

down garage that was dark and stanky and scary to go into.

For the last two or three weeks my two Ficus plants have been dropping

leaves like they were fixing to die. It has slowed down to about two or three

leaves a day now. I don't know what got them all worked up and carrying on

that way but I'm glad they've settled down.

I've decided to spend as much of this day outdoors as possible.

Here it is almost the end of summer and I've not spent more

than a few hours out in our yard all summer and it looks it too.

Almost all the plums have fallen from the tree. I've made one plum cake and two

plum crisps. The rest have been eaten by critters, one of which I suspect is a bulldog, from

the smell of things in the living room.

Ahhhh Friday

2011-07-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

The day to myself!

The first one all week. No doctor's or dentist's appointments no lunch dates or errands. Just laundry and reading and yoga and, in a little while, a walk to the library.

No drama(so far), just the hum of

the dryer and Lu's gentle snoring, she saves her real hard loud snoring for night sleep.

I'm savoring the day,the moment and looking forward to a weekend of hard labor in the house and in the yard which looks like an abandoned lot the cats use for their

nefarious purposes. Though they are doing some good work too. There are no more gophers!

I wish you all a weekend

full of

Charming Stories.

2011-07-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

That was my girl.

A long time ago.

When she was little she used to ask when would she be grown-up enough to move out and be on her own and we always said when you're 36.

How were we to know we were seeing into the future?

I imagined that my parenting would be pretty much done by now. The real hands-on kind that is. I thought there would be phone calls and visits during Thanksgiving, then life took this sharp evil, bone crunching turn and I thought I'd never have any of that ever again and now life goes and takes another sharp turn. By now I know I need to fasten up my seat belt and breathe deeply instead of clenching up for the expected whack, not that any of that makes much of a difference, I'm still always always stunned by it.

Amazed at my own stupid surprise at anything that happens as I've been expecting it all along.

Turns out my baby is having a baby and both babies will most likely be living here under our little roof. Turns out my hands aren't done being on. Not at all.

A baby.

Two babies.

Oh my.

cultivating acceptance

2011-07-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a wild week. Make that three weeks. No wait, make that 4 years.

Ok, forget it, more than 4 less than 1000.

My lesson for this week is to cultivate acceptance. It sounds so easy, so simple and

light but it's as hard as anything can be. I think I accept things but then I find myself gritting my teeth and cussing in traffic, wound up as tight as a ball of rubber bands. This is a sure sign of non-acceptance and it creeps in if I'm not watching.

Obviously, I don't believe everything I think.

So.

Cultivation.

Nourishing the notion that I can't change the way things are.

I'm working on feeding that idea, watering it, trimming back the dead leaves on it and letting it sit in the sunshine and rain and fog.

Letting it do it's thing, I can rest easy and wrap myself in one of my binkies and smile when I look at my silly dolls or Lu asleep on her pouf.

All is as it should be.

2011-06-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

It seems Lu has given up her night job that looks exactly like her day job (see photo above) for a job as night watch dog.

With my other dogs, gods rest their ferocious little hearts, when they barked and I was home alone at night, I'd get skairt shitless and wonder where the gun was. With Lu I know it's a moth flying against the window or a leaf falling on the deck and I know there is nothing I can say or do to make her shut up and go back to sleep. Once she's hot on the scent of something that's pretty much it until she gets sleepy and forgets to say anymore about it.

PS Ad choices for this post: How to train any dog in 6 days.
Train your dog
etc
etc.

2011-06-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Thank you for not making me move the truck and being so sweet about it and bringing me
a toy.

On the shelves...

2011-06-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

We're a pretty neat couple though you wouldn't think it to look at our bookshelves. They are higgledy piggledy full of not only books and pictures but toys and other oddities we've collected through the years. It's the one spot I hold hostage here in the nest. If it were up to Tearful all our books would be neatly tucked in these shelves alphabetically or by color or both, or better yet, by subject. He's given it a shot once or twice but it eventually reverts to this pullulating foofaraw.

While you might think you'd learn something about someone by peeking into their medicine cabinet, I suggest looking at the bookshelf instead to gather some clues. If there is no bookshelf, excuse yourself politely and run away. People who don't read scare me.

Although I do have a good friend who has not picked up a book since high school and she isn't that scary.

So this morning, the light was good and

PS. That's me and the beast during much happier days.

Testing

2011-06-14T14:08:00.001-07:00

Testing

Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

where are you summer?

2011-06-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

It's wintry cold here these days with the sun not showing up until late afternoon if at all.

I've got a new project going here and this morning I started meditating because it seems like a good idea and lo and below, it is.

Our little trailer comes home today after having its insides and undersides given a good going over and if all goes as planned, we might be heading for the hills, lake, ocean or desert soon and for a long time. Well... not a long time but a few days at least.

Maybe we'll find some summer. I know it's out there somewhere.

2011-05-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

It's been quiet and still on

the ranch these mornings.

Lu plays at being a bunny in the tall grasses.

I've been stitching burlap into

a bag for my essentials.

keys
camera
phone
wallet

and a basket to hold my stones.

2011-05-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms

I had my favorite breakfast lovingly prepared

by my Favorite Person in the world and I got

a pair of red hand crafted sandals that i was lusting over and

my dog got washed.

What more can a girl ask for?

Well there are a couple things i might

ask for but right now today i'm not going to because i am in full level orange alert mode.

i'm going to close the shades and

snuggle up in that chair which i found down the street at a yard sale and i'm going to watch some movie or tv show and i'll probably knit or crochet something to keep my hands moving but my brain still.

like that can even happen!

2011-04-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

April 27, 2011

I have a new toy.

I'm busy playing with it.

My old toys have been calling

asking why I don't come

around anymore and if I've

forgotten them.

NO.

I haven't.

2011-03-23T17:29:00.000-07:00

March 23, 2011

Last night in dream world my grandmother and i were driving to visit my daughter who took one look at my grandmother and ran off because my grandmother was so old and ugly.

i was really mad until i took a look at my grandmother and saw that she was a skeleton and then i wasn't mad anymore just determined to catch up with my fleeing offspring.

it's nestling in, this idea of getting old, the slow

decline into decrepitude. i'm faced with it everyday

as my Mom slips slowly away and i see my grandmother's face in the mirror. that's me running in that

dream as fast as my matronly legs will carry me and that's

not my grandmother sitting there a bundle of bones in a dress.

i'm not having a face lift or a boob lift or wearing pink velour leggings and a tank top, but i'm not looking askance at anyone who does.

i get it.

2011-03-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

March 20, 2011

2011-03-18T13:54:00.000-07:00

March 18, 2011

It's hard to get here these days...

I don't know why.

Here and my little room.

My new little room. I haven't been in there to make anything since we moved it.

I don't know why.

Maybe it's my little pad, it's so easy to pull out and play and there isn't anything to clean up and I can go back and pick up where I left off or erase it all and start over.

No fuss.

Contained.

It may even be why I am not knitting. I have started a project four times and I'm reluctant to start it again. It needs more attention than I am willing to part with at the moment.

But there is a great deal of

churning, simmering, composting, settling and reshuffling going on.

2011-02-26T17:02:00.000-08:00

the laundry is done, the dog walked, we even managed some weeding in the
jungle. there were tulip bulbs hiding in and among the tall weeds. we
didn't make a dent.

himself cooked us up another outrageously delicious meal and I'm watching
A Man of Her Own,
Barbara Stanwick 1950 I think.

if I had a tail, it would be wagging like crazy.

XXXOOO

From Drop Box

2011-02-22T16:22:00.000-08:00

It's back to the routine...

after a most exquisite homecoming that lasted until yesterday when I had to go back to work.

Today I have to cook and I'm...

not nervous exactly but after eating some of the best food of my life this past week, I'm feeling a little...intimidated about getting back in the kitchen.

El Viejo has become a brilliant cook. I'm an ok cook, I cook peasant food, Puerto Rican peasant food. That's good, it's ok but add to that my ban on animal products and, well...

He's unbelievably gracious and sweet and thankful but...

lentils?

Really?

I need something to knit.

From Drop Box

2011-02-18T10:54:00.000-08:00

Home Home Home

Is there anything sweeter?

Nope, there just isn't.

I'm done for. Tearful has learned how to make calamari....it's all over now, there is no reason to ever go anywhere again. I'm just staying here in bed until he makes it again.
It's pouring down buckets and he and Lu just left for walkies on the ranch since they are both such brave souls.

Guilt and Joy.

Mostly Joy.

Thank you!

From Drop Box

2011-02-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

All the Novellas and Criminal Minds I've been watching are taking their toll. I had a nightmare last night involving Mexican gangstas. They kidnapped my Lu! Goddamn jerky bastards!
That was the Monk's father's favorite curse. That and motherfuckin' son of a lesbian bitch,
have a certain twisted ring to them that I find useful and horrifying.
Both so insulting on so many levels.

Anyway. I find it fascinating that Criminal Minds is on television at any hour of the day. It's a horrific show about FBI profilers that you Tearful, would hate but that I find compelling even though it's giving me nightmares and making me miss all the armaments normally available to me.

Sometimes I'm just not right.

but I don't judge.

at least not too harshly.

The guilt over leaving my Mom is settling in along with the crazy joy I feel about going home.
This is the hell of it, it all moves into my heart and there ain't nothing for it.

one more night.

From Drop Box

2011-02-14T14:11:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!
We'll have to celebrate on Thursday through
June. k?

It's been quite a day, just got back from Orlando. That endless drive...
nothing but swamp and brown palm trees. I think elephants would be a fine
addition to this landscape.

I hadn't seen the ghost since I got here but I felt it last night. Maybe she
just stops in to say good bye?

two more nights...

From Drop Box

con todo mi corazon.

2011-02-13T08:26:00.000-08:00

it's so quiet here this morning. I love that.

and beautiful! I think we'll go to the beach for a short stroll.

this beach where we walked endless hours with our screaming wild woman.
remember those days Scott? The lounge "chairs" we'd carve out of the sand?
That was just before the wild woman made her entrance and I was a beached whale.
that house we lived in is gone, so is the bar. Not a trace of it left.

A big wave out to you Miss A who so kindly stopped to visit my beasties yesterday ;0)

three more nights!

From Drop Box

2011-02-12T15:26:00.000-08:00

I think it may be time to go on home.

I'm ready!

Today we went to the farmer's market and bought beets so my Mom can make juice.

On the menu this evening is Butternut squash and black bean chili. Yum.

We visited with my uncle and his wife this afternoon. Sad sad. She's in the advanced
stages of MS and he is her caretaker which is completely horrifying since his grasp on this world is tenuous but he did show me all his instruments which he has been making for years, guitars, mandolins, violins, quatros and harps, none of which he has ever learned to play.

They are beautiful things.

Now I am going to lay on The Bemer, a German contraption my cousin sells. Sound like snake oil to me but you never can tell.

Here's another collage, I think I've made about fifty of them, a new addiction!

From Drop Box

2011-02-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

It's count down time.

Mixed feelings.

I can't wait to get home but when I think about leaving...
my tiny heart feels like it might crack in two.
and I'm going to miss the ending of Eva Luna. Will that evil woman who
always wears the one glove get her comeuppance? and why the one glove?

I made vegan cinnamon buns yesterday. Of course I tweaked the recipe and of course they
taste like cinnamon flavored bricks but the day was perfect for spending in the kitchen. I also made lentil enchiladas. My poor Mom! I took pity and added cheese to hers. What a trooper! She'll eat whatever dreadful thing I put in front of her with gratitude.

I've been playing with brushes on this little pad and learning all kinds of fun things. Here's
one I call Deer Modigliani

From Drop Box

2011-02-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

It finally rained. Hard. No thunder though.My Mom had her surgery and all went well. She's been wobbly butresting and healing nicely though she does look like she's been beaten with a stick.I'm an incompetent nurse, I misplace her meds andpanic ( on the inside) when I think I might accidentally hurt her but she doesn't mind,I sit and watch her novellas and she fills me in on the back story. Such evil women, bouncing ample boobage around in Fredric's of Hollywood dresses. She told me about finding empty church offering envelopes under my mattress when I was a kid and I told her how My friend Louise and I would go to the Diner for breakfast instead of church. I don't remember stashing the envelopes and wonder why I didn't just toss them.So that's how I roll.I dreamt I was kissing Lu on the lips.

From Drop Box

because.......just look at that face!

2011-02-05T13:37:00.000-08:00

I've had a headache since I got here. I'm more than a little sick of it.today we went to a thai restaurant that my phone assured me was excellent. it wasn't that exactly but they did have barbies dressed in Thai costumes and my mom pulled up her shirt to show me how beautiful her bypass scar is. after that we went to get the car washed and she suddenly got r e a l s l o w. like a doll winding down. she was holding a half eaten candy in one hand and 17 dollar bills in the other and she closed her eyes and fell asleep just like that. that was it for our outing.it's beautiful here today. big puffy clouds and a nice breeze, there's been talk of rain but not a drop has fallen since I've been here.

From Drop Box

2011-02-02T16:56:00.000-08:00

From Drop Box

Is it wrong to do yoga while watching day of the damned?maybe...Is it yoga if you're just lying there?I'm finding it difficult to do more than that. Today we went to the cemetery to put plastic flowers on my grandmother's grave, something my Mom tried to get me to do last time I was here. I didn't have the heart to refuse her again though I honestly do not see the point of this other than it makes my Mom feel better. Afterwards she wanted to go shopping and again I couldn't refuse even though I felt like I might faint. She doesn't get out much.Tomorrow is going to be a long day.I'm homesick already. I think it's mostly because I feel like a crap sandwich and it's making me cranky and my mother's kitchen is the most uncomfortable kitchen I've ever seen and ....I miss my furry beasts. especially the tall handsome one.

2011-01-22T10:12:00.000-08:00

January 22, 2011

It's been a quiet week.

Nothing but yoga, walks with Ms
Lu, sewing, knitting, drawing, watching Sci-Fi.
Dishes piled high in the sink, books and yarn and clothes scattered around. The bed left unmade.
No obligations.
Staying up late getting up late.
Doing whatever the hell I want and nothing I don't want.

I'm soaking in it.

2011-01-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

January 12, 2011

My sewing machine is ready to be picked up from the shop today. I have not missed it since it's a finicky thing and has given me more fits than any sewing machine I've ever owned but at least it was really expensive.

Lesson learned.

I have a cheap little work horse that does what needs doing.

This is my Scarlet O'Hara coat, or my Gone With the Wind Coat fashioned from a bolt of upholstery fabric scored at the Goodwill. It also made some very groovy curtains.

2011-01-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

January 11, 2011

The first bowl in this current bowl business.

I'm working on number five. I think I might be done after the next. On to....

something else.

It's grayish blue today.

Lu and I walked along the cliffs this morning and the ocean was still as a pond. We passed two ladies waving little dumbbells in front of them as they walked.

I'm leaving for Florida in two weeks and I'm not dreading it.

That's really something.

2011-01-07T10:23:00.000-08:00

January 7, 2011

Lately I've been making these little vessels.
I don't know why I like them so much. I keep adding different elements to them, fabric, beads wire. I've made a few of them so far. One of those crazy things I get stuck on.
I think what I'm enjoying about them the most is how quickly they come together and that I can sew, knit, crochet, felt and bead all in one little object.

And then I can fill them with candy.

2011-01-05T09:46:00.000-08:00

January 4, 2011

This is the picture I thought of this morning when I thought of Dotty.

I don't know what made me think of her after all these years.

Do thoughts really have energy, was she thinking about me? I wonder

why some people pop into my head seemingly out of nowhere.

Double Rainbow, what does it all mean?

That picture was taken in August of 1977 in Taichung,Taiwan at Dotty's house. She did hundreds of sit-ups everyday, it was her passion to keep a flat stomach. She was married to hard drinking chain smoking on the road to a heart attack Al, from Brooklyn. They had two young daughters, one a miserable sullen 13 year old and one chipper

pubescent 11 year old who were well tended by the Ah ma leaving us free to come and go and go and go whenever but not wherever, we wanted. Our gallivanting was limited to the market, the salon and the pool.

They moved to Florida after Taiwan and I visited them once and have never seen or heard from them again.

In my most outlandish imaginary landscape I would never have

guessed that all these years later I'd be here. Of course, I didn't spend any time thinking past the next week back then but I knew without thinking much about it, that the possibilities were infinite.

The possibilities have sharply

declined.

I still don't think 34 years ahead but for an entirely different reason. I could, might be dead by then so I think in shorter terms, say 10-20 years from now. I can think of crazy ideas about where I might be then but the likelihood of something unimaginable happening, say like my moving to Africa to grow eggplant, or joining a nunnery (yes, there are still nunneries), or Weepy and I opening a fortune telling/shooting range, is very small. Well, that last one I could see. We'd be out in the desert somewhere with a thousand dogs running around and I'd read your cards in an open air tent while the Dishwasher ran around shooting things, paper mostly.

That could happen.

2010-12-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

December 31, 1969

That's the date the laptop says it is and I kind of believe it because the world is upside down today.

This morning Lu asked to go out before noon...

not her usual routine.

I let her out and then...

I got pulled into photoshop world and she sat out there huddled by the back door forever in the pouring rain waiting patiently like she does, for someone to open the door.

She never ever barks, instead she uses her Super Bulldog Telepathy (SBT)

to let me know she wants something and it almost always works.

To make up for this egregious over site she let herself up on the slanket.

Slanket time does not normally occur until dinner is over, the dishes are washed and put away and we are all settled in our places with books or remotes. That's when slanket time happens.

But not today...

Today it's Slanket time RIGHT NOW and probably all day long.

Also

here are my newly felted slippers.

2010-12-20T15:16:00.000-08:00

December 20, 2010

From

It's done and it only took over a year! I actually don't remember when I started this, it may be two years.

Or more.

I'm glad it's done and I'm glad that I like it again after thinking I'd have to give it away because I hated it.

After watching a few movies wrapped up in it, I kind of love

it now.

2010-12-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

Friday December 10, 2010

We get to see our girl this weekend! I miss her more and more not less and less.

My wrist is sore from knitting and crocheting so I am learning to knit in
a new way where I try
not to turn my wrist. I should
probably get some sort of wrist
band to help this.

I finished an afghan I started more than a year ago and it's
prompted me to finish all my
other lingering projects one
by one. Slowly by slowly.

Today I finished a scarf for my
Wild Woman of Borneo, I hope she likes it as much as I do. It's a cross between a scarf and a blanket in a soft fluffy white yarn, how could she not love that?

She still has a raggedy old piece of a blanket she loved as a kid. It's a tattered shred really but she
won't get rid of it. She's not like that about anything. She lets go pretty easily so the fact that she hangs on to this one thing, well, she does hang on to little pieces of paper too and butterfly wings...

and stones.

I guess she doesn't let go.

I guess I don't either. I have
all her drawings.

The one above was her first attempt at Chinese brush painting.

2010-12-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

Wednesday December 1, 2010

I'm teaching myself to smock.
It's not as easy as it looks.

Like so many things.

2010-11-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

Monday November 29, 2010

The Dishwasher brought the Wild Woman's blue doll house down from the attic and play has begun.

It's sort of reminding me of the time I went to a Shrink who employed Sandplay therapy. It made me uncomfortable then but I'm liking it very much now.

I especially love the little

blue house.

It sat in our front window for many years, now it sits

in the studio looking out the back window.

Hmmm...

2010-10-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

I still have not landed back in my life.

I am now floating in a sea of snot.

Last night I slept with my contacts on my eyeballs.

I don't recommend it.

We have a house guest for the foreseeable future.

It's not a dog.

2010-10-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

I am home.

Elated and grateful with a wedge of sadness.

My heart is wrinkled with sadness over leaving my Mom alone. It's only been a couple days so I'm not settled in. I've got this floaty feeling, like there is no ground upon which to stand.

My house gleams like a jewel.
The stove looks brand new!
The bulldog looks as though
she's been spoiled rotten.
Sleeping on the bed and eating bon bons.

I want nothing more than to crawl between the cloud of covers that is our bed and stare at the Dishwasher's magnificent painting.

Uploaded by DROID™

2010-10-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

Quan Yin

I am almost home.

My stomach is fluttery, I am 16 again.

These last hours we're spending with the rest of the family,
This house filled with light and the smell of cigar smoke and
Soapy incense. The Monk sits tying his endless knots, chanting
And the salsa plays in the background. It all works. This world
Accommodates all things.

Last night they took us to an Indian/French fusion restaurant.
In this world, it all works. If you visit Deland, Fl. Go there.
Cress.

I can hardly breath I am so anxious to be home!

Drop Box

2010-10-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

I'm anxious and cranky today. I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!

I need to go home.

Last night the monk saw a ghost in the kitchen. I've been seeing it for days too.

2010-10-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

I paid my bet, though the Monk gave me the death look when the waitress came back and said they were out of blueberries and
For a moment I thought he might make me find another diner but he had mercy on me and settled for bananas after asking
If they would put the bananas in the batter but that if they did they had to be done a certain way or else the batter wouldn't
Cook right.
I left her a good tip.

Today we went to FIT where they have a textile gallery right next to the botanical garden and the weather was just fine. It's been
That way since we arrived. Still no rainstorm.
We enjoyed the exhibit of Latin American textiles and took a stroll through the garden afterwards.We saw big turtles in the lake, they swam up close looking for food.I'm ready to go home though I'm dreading the leaving.

2010-10-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

Conversation with the Monk:

monk: why are you wearing fake turquoise?

Me: you gave it to me, didn't you?

Monk: I don't give fake.

Me: well then...I like the color.

Monk: you're not supposed to say that, you're supposed to tell me it's real and then say here I'll prove it by smashing it what do you want to bet, we'll bet for lunch,
Or something. You don't know how to play.

Me: ....

He's already won a bet for lunch over the definition of esoteric.Work me lord.

2010-10-04T08:14:00.001-07:00

2010-10-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

My grandmother...Gone many years now. My Mom never stops missing her though they had a difficult relationship.They lived together all my Mother's life so when Abuelita died my Mom's world shifted and she has never gotten the hang of life without her Mother. I'm not a good substitute but I have taken my Grandmother's role of cook and the Monk is the dishwasher, sans tears. Tonight I made a delicious vegan dinner. My grandmother would have loved it. You are missed here Hair Doctor!Though the Monk has the remote. Nuff said.

2010-10-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

.

The cleansing has begun. The monk brings me a pretty green drink every hour with a cranberry juice every half hour. I've done the cooking, fresh fruit and veggies,

It's going well except for catching the Monk pouring tartar sauce over his veggies, to "brighten them up".

We saw two red headed cranes on the lawn next door! Unfortunately I grabbed the wrong camera and can't upload.

I miss you S.

Drop Box

2010-09-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

Jesus knocks....

My Mom and the Monk are watching a Spanish novella in the living room and I'm watching Project Runway in my Mom's bedroom.
We had dinner at the Italian restaurant and it was super lovely! The Monk got everything he wanted. Eggsakly, they had booths which
Were a requirement As well as carrot cake. Tomorrow we begin our 3 day cleansing so things may get wiggly and niggly around here.

2010-09-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

I've slept about one hour in the last 37 hours and I'm not sleepy but my eyes feel funny.
The Monk has gone off to bed, my Mom is watching her novella. Tropical storm Natalie has petered out but I felt actual raindrops on my skin and walked through a puddle in bare feet.
Tomorrow the Monk wants to plan and write down our schedule. Who what where when....
Also he's taking us to Vic's, an Italian restaurant recommended to us by the Italian cashier at Walmart.

2010-09-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

Testing out this new way....

Getting ready for the journey...

Getting used to the heat which has descended suddenly and without mercy!

I knew summer would arrive in autumn.

I leave my bulldog and my beloved in your good hands, lloyd.

Jackson Browne Fondles Woman's Breast

2010-09-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

or, why you might want to

re-think taking tylenol pm.

In my dream Jackson admitted that he'd fell for me when he was 18. His teeth were yellow, I walked away and I think that's when my shoe came off and rolled down the sidewalk and burst into flames. A flaming shoe.

Before any of that though I was walking down a street when I realized I had no pants on. I know! How original. Anyway I ran into a boutique and into their dressing room and asked the saleslady to bring me a skirt but all she had was this short fringey thing that I knew I could not carry off, so I just sat in the dressing room until I realized I could just wrap myself in the scarf I was wearing and that's just what I did and that's just what I was wearing when I ran into Jackson.

I almost always wear a scarf and now I know why.

I'll admit that I'm a little anxious about my upcoming journey to parts known and somewhat hated.

This time though, I've got back-up. The Monk is meeting me in Florida where we'll spend two fun filled weeks with my family. Some one asked him why he was going to Florida and he told them he was starring in a Puerto Rican Novella. He knows my family. My grandmother used to call him El Flaco.

My dearest got me a new phone for my trip and I've been playing with the camera.

2010-09-15T15:31:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by a little

zippered case tutorial here and

while going through the studio to post something here, I came up with this....

It's not what I submitted to

swap.

yet.

it may be my new camera bag.

2010-09-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

Oh.

I'm still in my jammies and it's almost noon.

The shades are still down, the bed still

rumpled. My head spinning along with the

clothes in the dryer. Yes, I do alot of

laundry. I meant to take Lu to the ranch, to

walk to the bench and back. Maybe. Tomorrow.

From one of my favorite Josephs...

People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life.

I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what

we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life

experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances

within our own innermost being and reality, so that we

actually feel the rapture of being alive.

The Power of Myth

Joseph Campbell

2010-09-13T11:35:00.000-07:00

Monday mornings feel like Savasana after a vigorous Vinyasa Flow yoga

session.

Everything stops moving and I can let the silence settle in for a good long while before I have to go to work.

Just the sound of the clothes dancing around in the dryer and the birds having a boisterous discussion in the yard, and Lu softly snoring. Not her loud and deep night time snore but her soft

sigh daytime snuffle.

2010-09-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

It was a sweet morning. Lu and I walked to the post office and made our rounds. First check the box, then go see Noreen for some beef jerky and a chat. I'm happy that it's Friday and it's warm and that there were so many captivating things in the yard this morning, and that I received the most beautiful gift box with the most
beautiful necklace in the world. Thank you Rie!!!! It is a treasure.

2010-09-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

September 9, 2010

It's like that.

and

2010-09-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

September 1, 2010

Well, that's done.

I hung my stitches at the library.

They don't look good. I didn't do

a very good job of hanging them either and now I'm worried some of

the bigger pieces may fall off the walls. Since that won't break them

I guess I'll just stop worrying now and move on.

A Big Thank you to the lovely

Miss G for doing such a beautiful

house tour on her stunning and inspiring blog,

Of Peacocks and Paisley.

Tour here.

2010-08-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

August 24, 2010

I woke before dawn this morning and wandered around. I felt like I was having a double rainbow moment with all the golden light and silence sprinkled on my beautiful messes.

In the studio...

In the house...

back in the studio...

eventually I will be forced to

dress and go outside the castle gate.

yard pics

2010-08-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

August 18, 2010

Spent another weekend in LA and found something else to love about it.

Peacocks!!!!

Wandering the streets!!

No one told me that was happening down there. What the what?

Really? How utterly amazing and enchanting!

We visited the LA Arboretum where they were also wandering about and though I didn't find any tail feathers I found a smallish one and these tiny little flowers from a giant tree.

We had Pho in Chinatown.

Watched some dancing.

and best of all, spent time with our daughter.

2010-08-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

August 9, 2010

OK LA, I don't hate you anymore. I almost love you.

 I loved the AK47 lamp and the Holocaust memorial, I loved Gail's house even though I didn't sleep well, her house was a work of art.  I loved the woman pushing her two dogs in a stroller through Nordstroms, I loved the cheese and meat plate and the calamari and martinis we had at the Whisper Lounge and that the maitre d came over and asked if I was Chantal.  I loved that my daughter loves us again, especially her father. I loved how she looked at him and how happy she was to see us and that she shared the earrings I gave her with her friend Julie. I loved her friend Danielle who made me laugh. Hard. 

I love the dishes we splurged on, it made the rustic plum cake taste even better and I didn't think that was possible. 

I love being home.

And did I mention, how much I love

you Mr Dishwasher?

2010-08-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

August 3, 2010

All is quiet on the home front.

I'm almost finished with my knitting project which has been in progress for over a month now.
Mostly working the same 20 rows or so but the end is in sight and then I'm back to my machine. Maybe.

Garden tour
here.

2010-07-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

July 21, 2010

Wednesday

I think of myself as a very sensitive person. I'm sensitive to people, places...bees.

I watch for signs of disturbance.

I am aware that I could be making it all up, that my sensitivity is most likely not connected to the world outside my own head. I'm not really picking up on someone's feelings, just reacting to my own.

I can't help it, there's no place else to go. My head is the only place I can be.

Yesterday, when I looked out in the yard and realized Tearful had taken down a fence two days ago,and that I had walked by it several times and not noticed it was gone, my little world shifted.

It doesn't take much.

2010-07-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

July 19, 2010

Monday

Our Weekend

2010-07-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

July 14, 2010

Wednesday

After almost a week of knitting and un-knitting the same four rows, I have finally devised a way to keep track of my stitches. I tried the life line method of threading a piece of yarn through a row as a safeguard, it did me no good.
I tried a being here now meditation method, speaking my stitches aloud and staying with the rhythm of the pattern, an intense focus, and still, I'd be short at the end of the row!
I found my knitting to be just the same as practicing meditation. The monkey mind drifts, and though I can coax it back, I can't be sure I did the proper yo sl1 psso1 yo while I was away.

I finally decided to mark my place in the pattern as I knit with a piece of thread and stop every 7 stitch pattern repeat and count to make sure I haven't skipped.

Tedious but not AS tedious as ripping it all apart.

And

Summer arrived today!

2010-07-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

July 12, 2010

Monday

It's Monday.

What's to be said?

The weekend lingers on the tip of my tongue, sweet and creamy.

I got Lu up and out for a walk this morning, not as easy as it sounds for either one of us. She got her beef jerky treat from the liquor store lady whom she is now deeply in love with and I got

two Netflix movies and

the new New Yorker AND I got some pictures of the pretty gardens in town.

Go see here

2010-07-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

July 7, 2010

Wednesday already?

We went to Las Vegas last weekend

and jumped right back into normal life.

Like that can even happen.

Las Vegas was as awe inspiring as any sunrise, sunset, purple mountain majesty. Humanity in all its gory beauty.

I loved it.

I actually wish we had more time to spend just being there, looking. It went by so fast, trying to catch up years with my boy. He is a gem.

We ate and drank and talked and went to see this...

A Komodo dragon.

and this...

Elvis at the Peggy Sue Diner in Yermo.

They also have a Dino Saur Park out back in addition to a gift shop selling ceramic Superman cookie jars. So if you need one...

I want to thank the Dishwasher for being such a sport and taking me to Peggy Sue's Diner where he sat patiently watching me eat and then walked through the gift shop with me.

This man, he's a rock.

2010-06-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

June 29, 2010

It's been such a strange day.

There's a heaviness...

It looked for a minute like the sun wasn't going to show but here it is just this minute. Maybe it will change the flavor and texture of this day.

This stitchery I finished a few weeks ago...

The look on this face, that's how I feel.

I should tread lightly.